Of lemons and lemonade on Friday, the 13th of March, 2020

[I started writing this post on Friday, March 13, 2020. It took me more than a month to get back to finishing it.]

 

It's been a weird day. 

No, actually, it's been a weird week. 

I sat in my office until 8:00 tonight, not interested in going home, but not sure why I wanted to stay. I was busy doing something, but not really being productive at anything. I felt a bit numb, but wasn't sure why.

Eventually, I did go home and started reflecting on the events of the last week or so. Perhaps they would shed some light on the weirdness I was feeling.

😊😟😕😞 I had a workshop I was leading at SIGCSE Technical Symposium in Portland, OR during March 11-14. I had been looking forward to attending for months. But with the Coronavirus disease (COVID-19) Pandemic looming, there were questions if I should attend, or if the conference would actually be held. Ultimately, I decided I would attend the conference, and flew to Portland Tuesday evening, March 10, arriving late that evening. I attended two preconference workshops Wednesday afternoon and evening, one via the web. The opening keynote was scheduled for Thursday at 8:15 AM. I received an email at 7:14 AM stating the conference was cancelled due to the Oregon governor mandating late the evening before that all gatherings of more than 250 people were banned. I was up and dressed and ready to head to the conference, but now it was time to reschedule my flight home, pack, and get to the airport. I was successful, and arrived home in the wee hours of Friday morning.

😟😕😞 While I was in Portland, I received word that all classes at Ball State University were going to transition to online due to the Pandemic, effective Monday, March 16. My first reaction was that I had some work to do in the next couple of days to be ready for that when I returned home from the conference. I then realized that when I physically met with students prior to flying to SIGCSE was likely going to be the last time this semester. I was a bit sad at that prospect. But then when the conference was cancelled, and I was able to get a flight back, I was able to meet with three of my four classes on Friday, March 13. Life was a bit better.

😊 I wore my yellow smiley-face tie on Friday in an attempt to spread a bit of cheer to my self, if not others. As I was leaving my house, I happened to think about the making lemons into lemonade proverbial phrase. That prompted me to stop at the store on my way to campus and buy some lemonade mix and cookies to share with the classes I was meeting with that day. The picture above is a result of that. It was appreciated by the students and some staff as well. Even though there were a lot of students missing, it was good to meet with the ones who attended one last time in person.

😊 Good news also arrived while I was in Portland. I was notified that a three-year internal Provost Immersive Learning grant proposal I submitted was being funded. This grant will allow me to continue for another three years the CS4MS+ immersive learning project I started three years ago. It is working with local schools to help them incorporate more computer science and problem solving topics into their curriculum by working with schools administration, teachers, and their students.

😕 As of this Friday, March 13, there was little information about how long we would be conducting emergency remote learning. It was known that it would be for at least two weeks, but could well extend to the end of the semester. Uncertainty often leads to fear and frustration. I can't say I got to that point, but it would have been nice to know for sure what to expect. The situation simply did not allow for that level of knowledge, however.

😟 My wife had been out of town for two weeks, caring for her parents. Her father was having some medical issues that resulted in him being in the hospital for an extended stay. He was usually the one to watch after her mother, who has dementia. With her father in the hospital, my wife took on that role, while also attending to his needs. She hoped to be able to return home soon, but the exact date was uncertain.

😕 So there I sat in my campus office at the end of a long day that had seen me arrive home around 2:00 that morning, after eleven hours of travel. I slept a few hours, then got up in time to be on campus by 9:00 for a 90-minute Zoom meeting with colleagues. I had taught three face-to-face classes one last time that afternoon, sharing lemonade and cookies with the students who were able to be present. I had projects which badly needed evaluating. Not only did I have classes to prepare for the next week, but I needed to figure out how I was going to transition them to emergency remote learning, yet continue the learning process and keep the students engaged.

😕😟 And then the flood of questions started piling up. What tools was I going to use to transition the classes? Would I use asynchronous or synchronous learning, or some combination? How would I administer an exam which was usually administered on paper? Would the students have access to adequate internet bandwidth to participate? What other challenges might the students experience that could interfere with their learning? What could I do to keep them engaged? What could I do to help with their personal circumstances? When was my wife going to be able to return home? How, if at all, will I report on my vita the conference workshop that was accepted to be delivered, but was not delivered, due to the conference cancellation? Would my university reimburse me for expenses I incurred to attend a conference that basically did not happen? How long would we be doing emergency remote learning? Would we be back in the classroom by the end of the semester? Will the Pandemic spare my family and friends?

😕 And so, I sat in my office for five hours after I had met with my last class. Why did I stay? Why did I not go home? No one was expecting me to arrive at home at a particular time, since my wife was out of town. If I stayed in my office, I had the affordances of two large monitors to evaluate projects and prepare for classes the next week. I couldn't focus enough to do either task justice though. Nor was I excited about doing either task. Yet, I didn't want to leave my office. There was no one at home to interact with, so why not just stay in my office and try to get some work done? Was my office somehow comforting me? Was it providing a sense of normalcy amidst the weirdness I was experiencing? 

😕 I eventually convinced myself that 8:00 PM was late enough, and forced myself to head home. I changed my Facebook and Twitter cover photos to the picture on the left to remind me of the classroom in which I often teach. I also left the picture to the right on my office door.

😕😊 Upon arrival home, I ate a bit of supper, and started writing this post. I fell asleep part way through. The next morning provided the good news that my wife's father was doing well enough to care for himself and her mother, and that my wife would be home that afternoon. It was also a new day after a good night's sleep. Time to get busy on the tasks at hand. I had student projects to evaluate and classes to plan for Monday. It was time to get my desk set up for working from home. And my wife was coming home after two weeks' absence. This had to be a good day.

As evidenced by the variety of emoticons prefacing each paragraph above, there were a lot of emotions I experienced this week in March. Some were up, some were down, and some in some unknown direction. Life also became busy, and I never quite completed this post--until now.

So, how's your week been? Was your experience similar a month ago, or since?